12:00 p.m. – Wake up. It’s time for your first college football gameday of the year. Okay, you might be a little hung over or simply tired after a long Friday night. You have the option to hit the snooze button, but if you can get up, hydrate yourself and eat something light and easy to digest – salad works. Oh, and don’t forget your electrolytes, kids! It’s going to be another fun, yet exhausting day.
2:00 p.m. – Seriously, it’s time to get up. Hit the gym for a short, testosterone yielding workout. Another option is sunning yourself upon a rooftop, if such architecture is available. Shower after you partake in either of these activities. Feeling good, right?
3:00 p.m. – Hit up the Mall to take in the festivities and tailgating. As an underage youth, attempt to weasel free food and beer from your best friend’s, brother’s, and older best friend you’ve met only once. When that fails – said legally-alcohol-consuming acquaintance fails to remember your name – resign yourself to food from the Student Union.
4:00 p.m. – Having time to burn, have awkward conversations with your new dorm mates. Icebreakers can include but are not limited to:
“”WOOO! Bring on Central Michigan!””
“”I don’t even like football, but it’s a good people watching opportunity…””
“”How are we going to sneak booze into the game?””
“”Oh my gosh, (football player’s name goes here) is so hot.””
5:00 p.m. – If you’re in the creative mood, modify your Zona Zoo t-shirts. Women can cut up and sew up those ordinary t-shirts into cute pieces of Wildcat fandom. Men have less options but can still get a muscle tee out of the deal. Just realize that it’s easy to go too skimpy for either sex so try and keep it classy.
6:00 p.m. – Go to the game. The Zona Zoo usually fills up pretty quickly, and what’s wrong with spending an hour before game time yelling borderline-crude comments at the opposing team as they warm up? If you’re more of a reserved individual you can people watch. Things to look out for:
Sweaty, belligerent drunks that clearly pre-gamed too hard.
Kids that fill their water bottles with non-clear liquids and get forcefully thrown out by security.
Wackos who run onto the field nude or otherwise.
6:45 p.m. – The football players run onto the field, fireworks explode and you clap. Simple. The Pride of Arizona marching band will play a few songs, probably the national anthem as well. This is when you’ll stand up, but you could probably figure that out. After all, you’re in college now!
7:00 p.m. – Kickoff. A somewhat common practice in college football, take your keys out of your pocket and give them a jingle. Yelling is also encouraged, the volume escalating until the kicker makes contact with the ball. This is done throughout the game.
If your vocal chords aren’t burning by the end of the night, you didn’t do your job. On the flip side, some people go too far. It’s acceptable to slightly restrain yourself, thus avoid pissing off the wrong person and getting into a tussle.
You’ll probably be standing the entire game aside from halftime and between quarters. Wearing decently comfortable shoes is a must. Also, be sure they’re durable – don’t be mad if there’s any sort of vomit or water damage to them.
In the case of an upset win, the Zona Zoo has made it a practice to hurdle the stands before the 4th quarter clock hits zero and standing with the team on the sidelines until the game is over. Obviously, this shouldn’t be the case in the opening game versus Central Michigan, but keep it in mind for later contests against ranked opponents and as always, against rival Arizona State. Last year’s game against then No. 2 Oregon was a solid example of how to execute the initial pre-rush of the field and the following rush; Youtube it.
Back to Arizona State, there is never a wrong time to begin an “”A-S-U Sucks!”” chant. Never. In fact, it should probably happen more. In general, go crazy with the anti-ASU stuff.
11:00 p.m. – By now, the game should be over and if you’re lucky, the Wildcats will have scored at least 33 points. Why is this important? Because that means free Jack in the Box tacos after the game or for a late night snack!
