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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


    On The Spot

    On The Spot

    We found Paul Barbone outside of Tyndall Parking Garage, 880 E. Fourth St., and decided to ask him about his youth.

    Wildcat: You’re on the spot. What’s your first memory?

    Barbone: A birthday cake at a birthday party for me.

    W: What kind of birthday cake was it?

    B: It was shaped like a rhinoceros.

    W: That’s awesome! Did you eat it all?

    B: I had a bunch of friends there. The cake disappeared.

    W: What birthday was it?

    B: Fourth or fifth. I really don’t know.

    W: What’s your favorite cereal?

    B: Cheerios.

    W: Why?

    B: It’s healthy.

    W: What do you think of all the Cheerios imposters? They say they’re Cheerios but they’re not really.

    B: I just eat regular Cheerios and I don’t even look at them.

    W: Yeah. What was your favorite childhood toy?

    B: A gun.

    W: A real gun?

    B: Just a toy gun. Cowboys and indians and war and that’s what little boys do.

    W: Would you still consider using it today?

    B: No.

    W: You’d probably be shot by the police if they saw you. They’d think it was real. When did you stop picking your nose?

    B: I don’t really remember doing it much after being a toddler.

    W: What about sucking your thumb?

    B: I think I was about three.

    W: What about hitting your siblings?

    B: I’d still be inclined to do that.

    W: If any presidential candidate could be your mommy, who would it be?

    B: None.

    W: It could be Hillary Clinton or it could be a man in drag. If John McCain wanted to dress up as a woman…

    B: See, I like my mom. I wouldn’t.

    W: If your mom ran for president, what would you do?

    B: Literally, my mom has passed away.

    W: Oh. What’s the weirdest thing you would ever do in a sandbox?

    B: I can’t tell you.

    W: Perfect answer.

    ð- interview by Andi Berlin

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