Gravy Train!!!!
Notice the four exclamation points. They mean that Gravy Train!!!! is four times as awesome as every other kitschy electronic act out there. It’s probably because they have cool names like Chunx, Hunx, Junx and Funx, and they sing about cool things like coming out and having sex with fast food. But seriously, do we really need the punctuation? It makes completely normal sentences turn into nonsensical shouting matches. Are you going to Congress on Wednesday to see Gravy Train!!!!? Not really, I much prefer the sounds of Le Tigre and its contemporaries to Gravy Train!!!! I killed my sister and wrapped her remains in cow skin. But good news, I’m going to see Gravy Train!!!! It’ll be so fun. Wednesday. 8:30 p.m. $7 in advance, $8 at the door. Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St.
The Holy Rolling Empire
This Tucson band kind of sounds like Pavement and has shared the stage with buzzy bands like Cold War Kids and Grizzly Bear. That’s pretty good for a local band right now, especially with the North Fourth Avenue underpass closing. To be honest, that doesn’t really have anything to do with it, but isn’t it so easy to blame everything on the underpass? Well, this one’s at Plush, so that doesn’t apply. Um, let me think: That’s pretty good for a band right now, especially with the exit ramps on the freeway being closed off. I give up. Friday. 9:45 p.m. $5. Plush, 340 E. Sixth St. (21+)
“”Monty Python and the Holy Grail””
I’m slightly embarrassed to mention that this movie is playing because I’m afraid my acute knowledge of the title will associate me with 27-year-olds that still like Tool and the nerds who live with their parents and wear shirts that say “”It’s just a flesh wound.”” Therefore, I will not go on to make any more references about the plot and will definitely refrain from making jokes about The Knights Who Say Ni!, or anything like that. Hopefully my reputation will remain steadfastly untarnished. Saturday. 10 p.m. $5. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.
“”Blood Feast””
This movie is important because it features possibly the worst pasted-on eyebrows ever showcased in modern cinema. I think they’re supposed to make the killer look scarier, but all they do is make it harder to figure out what race he is. He could be white or of Middle Eastern descent or maybe just Greek, but his face and hair are painted some weird shade of silver. You gotta give the director, Herschell Gordon Lewis, credit, though, because the movie was made in 1963 and it’s possibly the goriest piece of fiction I’ve ever seen. But that’s what you get when you make a movie about a crazy man who’s collecting women’s body parts to cook into a feast for the goddess Ishtar. On second thought, just go rent “”Scream”” at Blockbuster. Monday. 8 p.m. $2. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.
“”When the World Was Green””
At first, I thought this was a documentary by one of those political guys like Al Gore or Ralph Nader, but man was I wrong. Apparently, it’s a play about a master chef who poisons someone and the reporter who interviews him. But what’s really important is that the same guy who did “”Chicago”” also wrote this play. That makes you even more of a theater buff if you go see it then. That’s like two plays in one! Anyway, it’s worth going to see if they put in Astroturf on the stage to simulate grass. They probably won’t, though, just hoping. Sunday. 7 p.m. Free. Live Theatre Workshop, 5317 E. Speedway Blvd.
– compiled by Andi Berlin