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The Daily Wildcat

Tucson, AZ

The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Diss-Course: Wildcat columnists sound off on the zaniest stories from this week’s headlines

    I do what I want


    The Story: Vice President Dick Cheney tells Newsweek he doesn’t pay attention to the public’s opinion of him.

    The Response: Normally I’d be the first one to applaud such a self-reliant attitude (go Emerson!), but Cheney’s comments are deplorable. In an occupation established of the people, by the people and for the people, Cheney is essentially saying he doesn’t care about the opinions of his employers or his patrons. In what other occupation could someone get by with such arrogance?

    I doubt a Starbucks employee could tell his or her managers and customers their opinions don’t matter and remain employed. Too bad Cheney, whose job is far more important, somehow manages to avoid performance reviews. This omission is absurd. At least when the barista messes up, all I get is too much foam on my latte, not a heap of dead bodies. It’s time Mr. Cheney stops his malevolent glaring and starts caring.

    – Jared Pflum is a religious studies senior.


    Throw us a bone!


    The Story: At the men’s basketball and football games, Wells Fargo gives away $100 to a fan who holds up a Wells Fargo debit card, but the prize money usually doesn’t go to a student.

    The Response: Every time that yellow sign goes up on the JumboTron, I dig out my Wells Fargo card. But I’m always disappointed by the announcement of another middle-aged woman as the winner. In contrast, when I traveled to the University of California-Los Angeles last weekend, I was shocked to see that every gift giveaway was awarded to a fan in the student section.

    What a great concept. Let’s give a prize to someone who would really appreciate a Benjamin. A struggling college student could feed himself for an entire month with that kind of dough. So maybe next time, Wells Fargo will find it in their hearts to put a student’s face up on that screen.

    – Jessica Wertz is a family studies and human development and psychology senior.


    Trouble in TV land


    The Story: Nielsen Media Research will start counting college campuses in their television ratings, increasing the cost of advertising on shows popular among students.

    The Response: I’m so conflicted. On the one hand, more accurate ratings might cut “”Deal or No Deal”” to a manageable level. Less Howie Mandel is a good thing for America, especially since we’re at war. But the alternative will be horrible: hour upon hour of witless, crudely drawn cartoons from “”Adult Swim”” (which, let’s be honest, really should be called “”The Bong Show””). Intelligent, sophisticated shows like “”House”” will be replaced by “”Laguna Beach.””

    How are we supposed to keep up with the latest developments in Swiffer technology if every commercial is for Bacardi or “”Girls Gone Wild”” videos? If God wanted college students to be counted in the television ratings He wouldn’t have created YouTube. What’s next, counting college students in elections? I shudder to think.

    – Shane Ham is a first-year law student.


    The ‘spirit’ of the law


    The Story: A recent poll found that almost 40 percent of young British Muslims would prefer to live under sharia, or strict religious law. The Brits are confused, not sure whether religious freedom should allow Muslims to live under sharia.

    The Response: Call me stupid, but the best way to convince Muslims that Islamic fundamentalism is oppressive probably isn’t by being oppressive. Besides, the beauty of Western-style legal philosophy is that it’s, well, right; after a few months of public stonings (not to mention having to drive the women around), these British crazies will come around.

    It was our own James Madison, after all, who said: “”The best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market.”” So let these guys live under sharia for a while; after a few months of ridiculous fatwas, they’ll come crawling back to the rule of law.

    – Damion LeeNatali is a senior majoring in political science and history.

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