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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Diss-course

    International monetary fun!

    The story: In Caracas, Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz recently announced his approval of Venezuela’s social economic policies, as well as their plans for a pan-South American bank set to launch Nov. 3.

    The response: For a well-established economist, tacit approval of Hugo ChÇÿvez, South America’s very own Pequeño Putin, should be career suicide. Stiglitz has had no shortage of opportunities to send his credibility into the toilet before. But now he’s managed to sell out on an unprecedented scale.

    Apparently ChÇÿvez, when he’s not busy rewriting the country’s constitution to keep himself in power, has successfully managed to steer Venezuela toward economic development while riding the wave of high oil prices. Who knew? At the very least, the story has a happy ending: the Banco del Sur will draw nations away from the horribly ineffective IMF and World Bank, of which Stiglitz was once chief economist.

    -Taylor Kessinger is a junior majoring in math, philosophy and physics.

    R2-D2 says ‘I do’?

    The story: David Levy, a scientist at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands, recently defended a thesis titled “”Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners,”” in which he predicted sex with robots within five years and forecast that by “”around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots.””

    The response: As a technologically hip, radical feminist, I personally cannot wait until the day that I will be allowed to enter into marriage with a robot lover.

    It’s been decades since feminists began the fight for respect and equality, yet men are still unwilling to accompany us to Ani DiFranco shows and acknowledge that our eyes are, in fact, up here. It has become clear that, for women to have truly egalitarian relationships, men must be replaced by some sort of programmable medium.

    But the introduction of robotic life-partnership will benefit men as well as women by allowing each individual to program his or her ideal match. If things get old or you realize you didn’t want what you thought you did originally, no problem – just punch in a few codes and it’ll all be taken care of. Finding a lifelong, fulfilling relationship will soon require only that you save up to buy it.

    And what better way to address the emotional and psychological problems preventing some people from finding mates than to accommodate them with robot sex? With the introduction of robo-marriage, each and every one of us will have the freedom to be as obnoxious and misanthropic as he or she pleases, without suffering consequences like being lonely or dying a virgin. Such a breakthrough would allow mankind to transcend the limitations of compassion, respect and cooperation to finally create the objectivist utopia of our dreams.

    -Alyson Hill is a senior majoring in classics, German studies, and history.

    Abortion ban refusing life

    The story: A law passed last November in Nicaragua puts a universal ban on abortion – including women who have been raped or when a pregnant mother’s life is in danger. Since then, there have been 82 recorded deaths of women with pregnancy complications in the country.

    The response: This new ban puts intense pressure on doctors who must make decisions in extreme situations of maternal death. Ectopic pregnancy is one of these situations: an ectopic pregnancy means a fertilized egg begins to develop outside the uterus, frequently in the fallopian tubes or in the abdominal cavity. Ectopic pregnancies cannot be completed-all attempts by doctors to move fertilized eggs into the uterus fail, and U.K. data found that ectopic pregnancies occur in up to 2 percent of all pregnant women. According to the BBC, a woman in Nicaragua recently died from an ectopic pregnancy because doctors did not want to remove the unviable fetus, fearing reprocussions of the ban. This woman hemorrhaged to death after doctors did not attempt life-saving surgery. Extremely restrictive abortion laws, as seen in Nicaragua, disregard the lives of women facing the dangerous situation of complicated pregnancy.

    -Allison Dumka is a senior majoring in political science and women’s studies.

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