When you walk into a Guy Ritchie movie, you come with certain expectations. You expect to see a crime drama that likely takes place in England; you expect to be shocked by scenes of spontaneous and unconventional gang violence; you expect, when you leave, to be laughing hysterically; and you expect yourself to be referring to your friends and loved ones as “”wankers”” for at least a week afterwards. Ritchie’s newest contribution to the Cockney Crime genre is “”RocknRolla,”” a slow-paced comedic caper that will surely satisfy the above criteria – but is it really worth the time and money to see yet another British gangster romp? Can “”RocknRolla”” possibly achieve the monumental success of Ritchie’s cult hit “”Snatch””?

Plot in 6 words
Snatch: British mobsters clamor for expensive diamond.

RocknRolla: British mobsters clamor for expensive painting.

Cast
Snatch: A brilliant ensemble, including Jason Statham as an illegal boxing promoter, Benicio Del Toro as a four-fingered Jewish burglar, Brad Pitt as an unintelligible gypsy fighting champ, Vinnie Jones as the dapper hitman Bullet-Tooth Tony and a slew of other incompetent mobsters, shady businessmen and mad Russians.

RocknRolla: An ensemble of lesser-known names, featuring Gerard Butler as a sexually-insecure street tough, Tom Wilkinson as king of the old-school British bad boys, Thandie Newton as a posh accountant with a hand in everyone’s business and Toby Kebbell as Johnny Quid, a cracked-out rockstar with a penchant for sex, drugs and pissing off his step-father.

Action begins
Snatch: Five minutes in: A Jewish mafioso heists a flawless diamond in Antwerp.

RocknRolla: Fifty minutes in: An allegedly deceased rock-star beats down a bouncer in England.

Bloodshed
Snatch: Incineration, human butchery and bare-knuckle-boxing have never been filmed so tastefully. Maximum violence, minimal carnage.
*No gypsies were harmed in the making of this film.

RocknRolla: Familiar conventions of gangland violence abound: Execution, torture and unexpected brawls with psychotic Russian thugs comprise the film’s final 20 minutes. The first hour is surprisingly sparse.

Cockney Expressions
Snatch: Bollocks: noun.
1. Term of exasperation, often at
having made a mistake.
2. As a plural noun, testicles.
“”You bet your bollocks to a barn dance.””
– Alan Ford as Brick Top

RocknRolla: Poof: noun
1. A homosexual male
2. A cushioned footrest
“”What, you didn’t know that Handsome Bob was a poof?””
– Idris Elba as Mumbles