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Raising Arizona tensions: President Barack Obama better have relished his moment soaking in some Arizona rays during his visit to Chandler on Wednesday, because Gov. Jan Brewer’s disposition was nowhere near as sunny. Between a sealed letter, which Brewer refuses to release, and the now-infamous Index Finger-gate, Obama probably received a reception more hostile than he anticipated. But at least Brewer’s antics were still better than Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s plan to present the president with a custom-made pink jumpsuit and invite him for a walk in the desert.

Microsoft-hearted: Everyone’s favorite geek Bill Gates announced that his charitable group, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, will donate $750 million to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. This sum is already on top of the close to $650 million that the foundation has given to the fund over the last 10 years. Yeah, that’s impressive and all, but I bet Apple can make it thinner.

Panetta pinching: U.S. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta announced that under a current budget proposal, the Pentagon’s budget will shrink next year, for the first time since 1998. Of course, it will be reduced by $6 billion next year, and then gradually increase every year after that. Thank goodness for future increases; as of 2009, the U.S. military budget only accounted for 40 percent of all global arms spending, and we Americans never do anything halfway.

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Can we taco-bout this?: Around 500 tacos were delivered to East Haven, Conn., after Mayor Joseph Maturo Jr. said he would eat tacos to show support for the Latino community in light of discrimination allegations against the East Haven Police Department. This is great news for Maturo. With all those tacos to eat, he’ll have no room to stick his foot in his mouth.

All’s fair in love and … actually, just war: U.S. Staff Sgt. Frank G. Wuterich, a former Marine squad leader who was charged in connection to 24 deaths in Haditha, Iraq, in 2005, received a rank demotion and a pay cut as punishment for his crimes, but avoided jail time. On the bright side, at least all those war protesters asking what the price of a human life is just found out.

Don’t fear the reefer: Proponents of Colorado’s forthcoming ballot initiative to legalize marijuana in the state are trying to compare the drug to alcohol, and suggest that it should be regulated as such. They also say the United States should apply the lessons of Prohibition, and decriminalize marijuana to avoid giving criminals additional money in the pot. Sorry Colorado, but the two substances are completely different. Until you can grow marijuana in the way God intended, in a speakeasy bathtub, it shouldn’t be legalized.