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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

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    Quoteworthy

    “”Halloween is a night for amateurs. … I never wear a costume on Halloween. I never go out that night. I just stay in and wait for all the posers to go home.”” – Marilyn Manson explains that he’s too goth for Halloween

    Sounds

    I listened to the new My Chemical Romance album entitled The Black Parade. After you get over the initial ear bleeding, the rest isn’t so bad; then again, I was pretty deaf by that point. The first track reminded me of David Bowie’s “”Five Years.”” Judging by the lead singer’s love of excessive makeup, it’s really no surprise. The new CD features a little more piano sound, which is always inviting, but the screechy singing talents of Gerard Way don’t do it much justice.

    Words to Read

    When I was a child, my grandma warned me that masturbation carried with it certain side effects like partial blindness or excessive hair growth of the palms. A new book called “”Find Out Why Masturbation is Destroying Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop It!”” is here to assure you it can do much more. Did you know that it can destroy your health, marriage and even your life? Pick up this book and learn how probably a handful of crazy people with a ridiculous idea can help you beat the one-eyed monster once and for all. Look the book up yourself: http://www.taketheaction.com.

    Gripe of the Week

    A recent hearsay, or “”report”” as Matt Drudge calls them, places the Rep. Mark Foley instant messages as a “”prank gone awry.”” According to the former McDonald’s manager turned bottom-feeding mock-reporter, two sources close to the congressional page Jordan Edmund say that Foley was “”goaded unwittingly to type embarrassing comments”” that later sparked national controversy and the resignation of Foley.

    Lower-level conservative, biased, hate-mongering Web sites like liberalsmustdie.com have taken this convenient gossip as an ultimate defense of Foley while most reputable conservative bias news outlets have dismissed the information as Drudge’s signature “”poke at the news with accusations and see if something sticks”” technique.

    Regardless, if Foley were innocent, it’s highly unlikely that he would have thrown up the “”molested by a priest”” defense so quickly. Besides, who wasn’t molested by a priest?

    Newsworthy

    Apparently sleep-walking has a kinky alternative. Researchers are currently investigating a disease known as “”sexsomnia,”” the demanding or acting out of sex while asleep. Though rarely reported, sexsomnia is believed to affect a larger number of people than sleep-walking, which affects only 2 to 4 percent. Currently there is no cure, and while some view the illness with some humor, others have reported it as having crippling-to-devastating effects on their relationships (not to mention abstinence campaigns).

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