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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On the spot

    We saw Charles Wollin, campaign manager for ASUA administrative vice president candidate Seema Patel, walking around the UA Mall dressed as Ali G.

    Wildcat: What’s so upsetting about animal cruelty?

    Charles Wollin: (In a fake British accent) We shouldn’t be doing that for animals. We should make sure that the animals are well kept in cages, and being all this and all that. You know, making sure that they’re the right way, and you know? No one wants to really tell anyone, that the animal is in the cage like that. But unfortunately sometimes an animal is in a cage like that. That just happens to be the case in America.

    W: What’s the best kind of cage to put an animal in?

    CW: The cage that you best be puttin’ it in, is the cage that’s … fuzzy cage. Cause the animals can cozy up to the sides of the cage. I like that. And they can get down. Animals need to get down. They don’t need to be unhappy. When animals get down, that’s the best thing, you know? Get down with each other, celebrate life. Doing the animal thing, doing the things of the animals and things of that nature. Literally, that’s a good thing.

    W: What’s the best kind of animal?

    CW: The best kind of animal in general, is…

    W: You don’t have to scream.

    CW: All right. Sorry. The best kind of animal is, I love dogs. It’s a fun animal. It’s a friendly animal. When people have dogs, it just shows other people who they are, right?

    W: Is it worse to kill a dog or a raccoon or an inanimate object?

    CW: It’s definitely not right to kill anything, cause Ali thinks that all life is all good. If you was to kill a raccoon, I don’t think it really matters. They smell like my mate’s mom’s…

    W: What’s the most important issue in the presidential election … for the United States?

    CW: Yo, I think the most important issue in the presidential candidate for the United States be the economy. Cause I see too many of my friends not working, fings like dat. That’s with an “”f”” and a “”d.””

    W: What’s your favorite novel from the 16th century and why?

    CW: It’s probably be Shakespeare, something like dat. “”Much to do About Arrows,”” or whateva.

    W: Why is it so important to recycle?

    CW: The plastics need the plastic. Or whatever kind of plastic you is be using, a bottle or whatever, other type of plastic that you’d be using on yourself or whateva. It’s important to make sure that we recycle that type of plastic. The world will become a better place, people get more jobs, people get more things.

    W: Who should I vote for?

    CW: You should definitely vote for Seema Patel.

    – Andi Berlin

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