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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On the spot

    In honor of the ASUA primaries today, we talked to political science senior Dustin Cox, vice chair of the ASUA Senate.

    Wildcat: OK, you’re on the spot. What issue do you hope will be addressed during this campaign?

    Cox: One of the most important issues, I think, is social justice and diversity issues here on campus. And I don’t think they’ve necessarily been addressed in the past. I think that we started to address some of them this year. And hopefully we actually make some more progress next year.

    W: OK, if you had to kill one local public figure, who would it be?

    C: Wow. Had to, absolutely had to?

    W: Yeah. God was sitting up there in a beach suit, and he was forcing you to.

    C: Oh my God. I don’t know, well, I can’t actually give an answer to that question because it’s technically illegal.

    W: What about maiming them?

    C: Still illegal.

    W: What about giving them pink eye? That’s not illegal.

    C: Oh, I would totally give George Bush pink eye.

    W: No, local public figure.

    C: I can’t answer that question.

    W: What about pinching them a little bit so their skin turns kind of red?

    C: I would maybe pinch Tim Bee. He’s the president of the Arizona Senate.

    W: Oh, is he a dick?

    C: He doesn’t really identify on the issues like I do.

    W: What do you think before you go to bed?

    C: “”Man, I’m tired.””

    W: Do you ever think, “”Lookie me, I’m fame-eee?””

    C: Fame-eee, meaning … “”famished?””

    W: It’s a version of “”famous.””

    C: No, I do say, “”Hey look at me. I’m famished.””

    W: Do you say, “”What’s that blue spot?””

    C: Occasionally, when I see blue spots.

    W: Do you say, “”I gotta run those papers through the electrometer and get back to Hagan about the Fleezon reports.””

    C: You know, there was one occasion seven years ago where I did say those exact words.

    W: OK, close your eyes. Do you see a red or green giraffe? My friend wanted me to ask this, I have no idea what it means.

    C: I see a green one.

    W: OK, last question. If you were riding a jellyfish and it bucked you off, would you take shelter in a coral reef, or would you swim up to a boat on the surface, knowing you might drown because the coral reef has air inside of it, and you could swim under there?

    C: It has limited air, so I’d probably still drown down there.

    W: Try to go up?

    C: If I were riding a jellyfish, I probably would die at that point anyway.

    – Andi Berlin

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