Stupid is as stupid does

The Story: Arizona Republican senators are pushing through legislation that would classify illegal immigrants as domestic terrorists if they “”threaten”” or “”intimidate”” anti-immigrant activists.

The Diss: This is as stupid as it comes. The Republicans and nutty Minutemen behind this legislation want to see an end to the “”economic terrorism”” that illegal immigration is responsible for. (Yeah, there’s really no act of terrorism quite as scary as cheap labor and inexpensive produce.) Grow up, senators. You’re just trying to save face in front of your Minutemen constituency, still pissed off they were the last subjects of the “”domestic terrorism”” accusation.

– Stan Molever is a philosophy senior.

Nothing sexy about giant needles

The Story: As some states consider whether to make the Merck HPV vaccine mandatory, many reasons are being presented why pre-pubescent girls shouldn’t receive this life-saving vaccine.

The Diss: Parents who jump to the false conclusion that if their daughter is spared one more pinprick during the extensive childhood vaccination period, she will not have sex, should re-think their decision. Instead of focusing on the imagined consequences of getting the shot, parents should be worried about the potentially very real consequences of cervical cancer – needless pain and possible death. While government-mandated vaccination may be a bit much (as even Merck is now realizing) this vaccine is a valuable tool against an awful disease, and that is how it should be viewed – not as a tool promoting teenage sexual activity.

– Kara Karlson is a journalism senior.

The cart before the horse

The Story: State legislator Stacy Campfield, R-Tenn., introduced a bill that would require doctors to file death certificates for aborted fetuses, claiming that it will help the state keep better track of abortions.

The Diss: If you’re pro-life and you think fetuses should be protected, at least do it right. Nothing about this bill suggests anything other than poor thinking. First off, Tennessee already keeps records on abortions. What’s more, Campfield seems to have put the cart before the horse – you can’t issue a death certificate for something that hasn’t even gotten a birth certificate. Abortion is an issue that will likely never be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, but the least either side could do is to think through the consequences before dropping a bill, calling a press conference and making itself into a laughingstock.

– Damion LeeNatali is a senior majoring in political science and history.