Today

Animal Collective – See the Maryland-born, New York-breed experimental rock demigods fresh off the release of their latest album, Strawberry Jam. Avey Tare, Panda Bear and the rest of the group perform live with Wizard Prison. Confused scenesters can save their money for Wednesday’s The Academy Is … show. Doors open at 7 p.m. $17 in advance, $19 day of the show. Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St.

Global Drum Project – UApresents brings the Global Drum Project, featuring Mickey Hart of Grateful Dead fame. The Project also includes Zakir Hussain, Sikiru Adepoju and Giovanni Hidalgo. You may not know who they are, but their album, Planet Drum, was No. 1 on the Billboard World Music charts for 26 consecutive weeks. 7:30 p.m. $18-42. Centennial Hall, 1020 E. University Blvd.

Tomorrow

Lloyd Kaufman – The legendary B-movie filmmaker and the brains behind Troma Entertainment will be in person at the Loft for the Tucson premiere of “”Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.”” Meet the man responsible for distributing South Park co-creator Trey Parker’s first movie and the college classmate of George W. Bush. 9 p.m. $8. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.

The New Pornographers – The indie supergroup will be at the Rialto with Lavender Diamond and The Awkward Stage. Maybe if the crowd heckles the band enough, Neko Case will play some solo songs. Doors open at 7 p.m. $19 in advance, $21 day of show. Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St.

Saturday

Arctic Monkeys – Oh, I am so sick of the Arctic Monkeys. The post-punk revival sucks, and all these NME bands from England are so 2006. Wait, their latest album got a good review from Pitchfork? Never mind then, what time’s the show? Doors open at 7 p.m. $20 in advance, $22 day of the show. Rialto Theatre.

The Red Elvises – The Soviet-born, California-based indie rock group heads back to Tucson. Those too cool for the Arctic Monkeys show will be easily sedated by the Elvises’ flashy clothes and giant red bass guitar. Come prepared to dance all night; if you wear flip-flops you deserve to get your toes stomped on. 9:30 p.m. $10. Plush. 340 E. Sixth St.

Knife skills – This sounds a lot sweeter than it is. Howard Thompson leads a class on how to safely and efficiently handle knifes in the kitchen, with tips including proper cutting and chopping methods. Somebody needs to tell Howard a nunchuk skills class would be a lot more badass. 9:30 a.m. $30. Culinary Concepts, 2930 N. Swan Road, Suite 126.

Velvet Revolver w/ Alice in Chains – Quick, hurry up and catch Scott Weiland before he turns 40. Slash will be there, too. See this Stone Temple Pilots/Guns N’ Roses supergroup at Casino Del Sol. Plenty of handicap seating for GNR fans with their walkers. 8 p.m. $45-95. AVA Amphitheater, 5655 W. Valencia Road

Sunday

Babysitter Training – If you’re between 11 and 15 years old, make sure to get your permission slips signed and head down to babysitter training at the Red Cross. The class includes first aid and basic child care instruction. Remember, don’t shake the baby. 9 a.m. $40. Red Cross Training Center, 5305 E. Broadway Blvd.

Monday

“”Halo 3″” release – The final installment of the Halo trilogy hits store shelves at midnight. Grab the game, or, if you feel like embarrassing yourself, nerd out and upgrade to the legendary edition complete with a Master Chief replica helmet. Pick up a Halo 3 Slurpee and join the line at your local game store. $59.99.

“”Skyscraper”” – Mondo Mondays presents Anna Nicole Smith in this direct-to-video movie. The plot is a rip-off of “”Die Hard”” with Smith taking on Bruce Willis’ role. The soft-core flick contains more than five minutes of nudity and ends in a kickboxing match between Smith and Charles M. Huber atop an 80-story skyscraper. 8 p.m. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.

Tuesday

Kenny G – After trashing his hotel room and causing a riot during his last visit to town, smooth jazz saxophonist Kenny G has been banned from returning to Tucson. Catch him outside the city’s limits at the Desert Diamond Casino – no telling what will happen this time. The party starts early. Doors open at 7 p.m. $30-60. Desert Diamond Casino, 1100 W. Pima Mine Rd, Sahuarita.

Wednesday

The Academy Is… – Check out Fall Out Boy’s sidekicks The Academy Is… with Armor For Sleep, The Rocket Summer and Sherwood. If you like any of the other acts on Fueled by Ramen records, you don’t want to miss this show. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. $20. Rialto Theatre

compiled by Andrew Austin