Who will win Game 1 between the Celtics and Heat?
As a Knicks fan, I’m torn. Rooting against Boston is in my nature, especially considering they just swept my Knickerbockers. However, I seem to remember getting the ultimate case of blue balls from LeBron James last summer. Truth be told, I’ve never liked LeBron but was willing to be a fan once he came to the Garden. But he didn’t. Also, despite my allegiances to New York, Kevin Garnett is my favorite player in the NBA.
Celtics 95, Heat 82
– Tim Kosch
There’s nothing more guaranteed in sports than Gloria James’ son sucking in Boston. I mean this could be the series where James calls it quits and decides nothing is more humiliating than going to Boston every spring to get pounded over and over again. Delonte knows what’s up. Walk off the court, walk into the tunnel of the Garden, take off your headband, take off your jersey and just give up. This series will be won or lost by James. And this series will not be won by the Heat. Cue the Duckboats!
Celtics 109, Heat 87
– Bryan Roy
The Celtics, no matter how ugly it was, handled a two-star team in New York. Meanwhile, as objective as I try to be and not become a Miami Heat hater, their run won’t make it to the NBA Finals in the first year of this grand experiment; they are still finding their playoff swagger. And do you expect Mike Bibby to hit any open 3-pointers? If so, my name is Snuffleupagus. Also, Chris Bosh is weak. Boston takes Game 1.
Celtics 85, Heat 81
– Kevin Zimmerman
Who will be Mr. Irrelevant?
I’m a big fan of Kyle Miller, a gifted longsnapper out of Mount Union. According to NflDraftScout.com, he’s No. 10 on the list of longsnappers but I think that’s mostly due to little exposure. Out of the other nine players, Miller is the most physically gifted, at 6-foot-5, 258 pounds. That’s second-largest of longsnappers, but he’s also second-fastest in the 40-yard dash. Impressive.
Kyle Miller, Mount Union
– Tim Kosch
Nobody gets it better than Mr. Irrelevant. Every year a new guy wakes up one morning as a scrub and ends the day slamming broads at Newport Brewing Company. And when you think about slamming broads of Orange County, you think Vance Cuff of Georgia. The guy just gets slamming broads. That’s his name. Vance Slambroad Cuff. Like, excuse me Mr. Cuff, watch out where you’re slamming those broads. This summer, while everyone else is locked out of their training facilities, watch for Cuff just sailing a yacht around Balboa Island while broads literally slam him. That’s life as Mr. Irrelevant. Cuff your chick.
Vance Cuff, Georgia
– Bryan Roy
You’re not going to get a contributor with the last pick in the NFL Draft, so I say take a chance on someone with a name. And what name could possibly be more charmed than Vanderbilt defensive tackle Adam Smotherman? None. It’s meant to be.
Adam Smotherman, Vanderbilt
– Kevin Zimmerman
