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Rick rollin’: Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum shocked the world, and probably himself, as he swept a trio of state primaries on Tuesday, energizing what had been a languishing campaign. It also injected new funds, as Santorum’s campaign claimed a $250,000 influx the day after the primary sweep, and promises to inject new fun into the race as well. Glitter bombs away!

Speaking of glitter bombs: Washington lawmakers from both parties voted to approve a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage in the state. This, combined with state Gov. Chris Gregoire’s vow to sign the bill, will make Washington the seventh state to approve same-sex marriage. But opponents of same-sex anything will not go quietly into that good night, pledging to gather enough signatures to force a public vote on the matter. Proponents of same-sex marriage will look to avoid going 0-3 in such instances, after similar measures in California and Maine were successfully overturned. So who can blame opponents for being confident?

The nuclear option: The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission recently approved the construction of two new nuclear reactors, the first in more than 30 years. However, critics say that the reactors are not built strong enough to withstand terrorist attacks or natural disasters, such as those that led to the nuclear meltdown in Japan. If that’s your criteria for building anything then the only things that should be built are Chevy trucks. Those are strong enough to survive even the Mayan apocalypse.

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Left-behind school districts: On Thursday, President Barack Obama announced that 10 states — Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, Oklahoma, and Tennessee — will no longer have to meet the 2014 progress targets stipulated in the “No Child Left Behind” law. The law, which ties federal educational funding to growth in a series of performance metrics, was the child brain, sorry, brainchild of former President George W. Bush. Yeah … let’s move on.

Babying the cradle of Western civilization: Greek leaders have approved a new series of austerity measures as a condition of receiving yet another bailout to avoid a potentially disastrous default on the county’s debt. Conditions include lowering the minimum wage, cutting public spending and removing one god from its pantheon. Sorry, Hestia, your cushy hearth-tending job is over.

Slowing postal: The U.S. Postal Service posted another massive loss during the last fiscal quarter, a result of continued public preference to use the new-fangled electronic mail or private shipping companies such as UPS or FedEx. While the news is indeed dire, there is a silver lining. The service continues to corner the market when it comes to grandparents’ birthday cards, reminders of upcoming high school reunions and anthrax.