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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On the spot

    We found mechanical engineering freshman Kate Green at the War of the Roses on the UA Mall with her sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta.

    Wildcat: You’re on the spot. Do you think that in a multilateral society we can settle our differences through protest and activism rather than this?

    Green: Um, I don’t think this is really a way of settling anything. This is more of friendly rivalry and competition.

    W: But, what about the violence?

    G: It’s not necessarily violent, it’s just like any sporting event would be.

    W: Because I was thinking, throughout history we’ve been trying to make a standard of having peace talks. I have to give my harsh condemnation of the methods, because lives have been sacrificed already, and when will we realize that the whole thing was an inside job? If you talk to any engineer, the towers were not meant to fall that way, and it was probably an explosion because the building was going to be demolished anyway.

    G: (Pauses.) I’m not really sure about that.

    W: I’m just confused as to why the whole thing couldn’t have been talked out first, before we go to war.

    G: This isn’t a war. There was never any conflict. This is a fundraiser…

    W: There wasn’t really any conflict between Saddam and Bush either, but we wanted oil, you know? I just think a lot of people try to make up a conflict, like the WMDs. It’s just a charade.

    G: The War of Roses isn’t having anything to do with violence. It’s literally just a friendly rivalry. It’s to raise funds for handicapped children. It’s just a fun way of getting everyone involved and getting people to know each other.

    W: Then why are those people wearing headsets and smashing each other?

    G: It’s jousting.

    W: I mean, he’s hitting him. Look at him. And that guy over there is pointing really violently!

    G: So do you think football is the same as war too? Is that what you’re trying to say?

    W: I’m just confused. Is it like an episode of “”Gladiators?””

    G: It’s like “”American Gladiators,”” I think.

    W: So what network are you going to sell it to?

    G: It’s not on T.V. It’s just for fun.

    W: How is this going to affect the economy? I don’t understand how you’re raising the money to get your battle gear and your weapons.

    G: We don’t really have battle gear or weapons.

    W: How did they pay for the shin guards?

    G: No teams have their own shin guards.

    W: Oh, that? (Points to her legs.)

    G: Socks?

    W: Oh. They were up so high, I thought they were soccer shin guards, in case someone slices you in the leg. What are those strange shields over there?

    G: Those are sumo wrestling suits.

    W: They’re not to protect you in case someone shoots you with a rifle or a gun?

    G: No.

    W: Would they protect you?

    G: No.

    – Andi Berlin

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