If the world is a cherry pie, then mankind, in its infinite desire to govern everything, will find a way to slice it between them. Some people see a piece and do what they can to make it theirs. They see a chance and they take it. They see something and they want it. Why? Because they see a million reasons to have it and not one reason not to.
To others, however, this behavior is borderline alien. When they see the pie, they can only think about the reasons why they shouldn’t have any. They think about the things they must do before they deserve the pie, or they think about the people who would be better off with the pie than they would be. They are overcome with feelings of anxiety, self-doubt and a general lack of confidence.
A psychology expert would call this collection of feelings imposter syndrome, but to anyone who suffers from it, they just call it common sense. Taking a chance is a daunting task, after all, and how could anyone feel that they deserve it over someone else? This very line of thinking has no doubt caused thousands to give up their chances at jobs, relationships and other dreams while allowing for our more self-centered brethren to rise to the highest posts of fields like business, entertainment and especially government.
I’m speaking from experience. Like so many others, I’ve found myself questioning whether I should take chances, like applying for jobs or internships, because I didn’t feel deserving and the world would be better served if someone else had that chance instead. Yet sometimes the crazy things I see on the internet, done by people with much more self-esteem, astounds me. When I think about it, though, maybe these types of people are onto something.
Not to say that narcissism is a positive trait, but there’s certainly things to be learned from the outlook that it has on the world. There is wisdom to be found in following their idea of celebrating your full potential and fighting for your fair share.
For example, to someone with imposter syndrome, no matter how intelligent they are or how much potential they have, their positive traits will be drowned out in their own minds by the mistakes they make. Well, people with big egos make mistakes too. The only difference is that they don’t care because they focus on their positives and their successes. With this in mind, we see a secret pathway to fulfillment and we find a core aspect of a person’s sense of self-worth: how they visualize themselves.
Luckily, your own visualization is within your control, just with a little help. One thing I like to do is something called counting your wins. After all, mistakes linger longer in our heads than successes do, so why not put your thumb on the scale in favor of your successes? Counting your wins is a simple game: every time you do something right, add a win to your daily tally.
Maybe you don’t think you ever make any wins most days, but I guarantee that you do. Made a stranger laugh at your joke? Add a win. Got a task done super fast at work? Win. Held the door for someone carrying a heavy box? Even that counts as a win. Or maybe, for you, a win can be something that other people consider simple. Maybe you went to a social event that you usually don’t like doing and made it through in one piece. A win can be whatever you think a win is for you. Keep count of them in your brain and at the end of the day, then put them down on paper with tally marks. Maybe even look at yourself in the mirror and say the number aloud. This will allow you to visually see the successes you make every day rather than trapping yourself into a cycle of doubt and regret.
Of course, that sense of self-doubt might not be solely self-made. As with all mental health efforts, it’s important to minimize toxicity in your life that might be feeding into that sense of not being good enough. Always be vigilant to surround yourself with only things that build you up if you can. Spend time with people who aren’t afraid to say what they like about you and at places where you know you are loved.
Both of these things, highlighting one’s accomplishments as well as avoiding toxicity, are things that the more self-centered would do, and it seems to do wonders for their sense of self-worth. Having an inflated ego is equally unhealthy as having none at all, but you cannot deny that learning a little from that self-loving outlook will bring enormous mental health benefits.
You are better at this whole life thing than you think you are and you deserve a chance to prove that to the world. It’s easy to forget that, and it’s always a battle to make yourself remember, but it’s an important part of realizing your dreams.
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Ian Stash is a junior studying Journalism at the University of Arizona. In his free time, he loves video games and chilling with his cats.
