The University of Arizona Police Department has not updated its record books. So, here are some of our best Police Beat entries of the semester so far:

Unmusical chairs (Jan. 30)

University of Arizona Police Department officers went to the Park Student Union on Tuesday afternoon after a female employee reported that a student had thrown a chair at her. The employee had approached the student and asked if the student was OK because he was not wearing pants. In response, he stood up and yelled profanities. The employee said she felt scared and threatened, so she started to run away to call the police. When the student realized that the employee was calling the police, he decided to throw a chair at her, nearly hitting her.

The student stormed out of PSU, but police eventually caught up with him. When the responding officer asked him to stop, the student yelled profanities back and continued to walk. The officer then signaled for backup. Officers with Tasers eventually surrounded the student, and arrested him on the ground. The student did not respond to any questions. Officers read him his rights and sent him to Pima County Jail, where he was booked for disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace. The employee said she wanted to file charges against him.

Come at me, bro (Jan. 31)

A Tucson resident was at the UofA Bookstore with his family on Thursday at 1:45 p.m. His wife and children were standing in line downstairs when the man decided to step out of line and browse the rest of the store. Upon coming back he saw his wife speaking with a customer service representative, so he decided to approach them and see what they were talking about. Right after the husband walked up, a male college student said to him, “Hey you’re cutting the line!” The husband responded that he was already in line, and that he was simply standing with his wife.

The student repeated his argument again, this time six inches from the husband’s face. The husband said that the student had a “threatening look in his eyes.” The husband then grabbed the student by the shirt and threw him nine feet back, saying he feared that his wife and children were at risk. The student instantly stood up, prepared to punch the husband. Bookstore employees rushed over to the scene before the two had the opportunity to hurt each other. Police arrived at the bookstore minutes later and contained the two men. They reviewed the security tapes and decided that the student was at fault for showing physical aggression. The student was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

One roommate does a line, the other draws the line (Feb. 16)

UAPD responded to a call made by a female student reporting that her roommate was using cocaine in their dorm room in Graham-Greenlee Residence Hall at 6:30 p.m. on Monday. The student said she was in her room speaking to her father on the phone when her roommate walked into the room and asked if she could close the door and lock it. The roommate said, “I don’t mind.” The suspect locked the door and sat at her desk. The roommate watched as she pulled out a small bag containing a “white powdery substance,” which she then poured out onto the desk. She then grabbed a $20 bill and her CatCard and attempted to flatten the cocaine and separate it into two lines. She grabbed a straw and snorted the powder. The roommate asked her, “What is that, and should you be doing that with your Crohn’s disease?” The suspect responded that it was cocaine. As the suspect put the powder into her mouth, she asked her roommate, “Do you want some? It makes your mouth feel good.” The roommate declined, and was mostly speechless, but at one point said, “Oh shit, dude.” The roommate then continued to consume what was left of the cocaine. Her roommate then stood up, grabbed her bag and left for class. At that point, the roommate called UAPD.

When officers arrived, they spoke to the suspect and asked her if she knew what this was all about and she told them yes. She admitted to snorting and rubbing cocaine on her lips. She said she received all of her illegal drugs from someone else. Her room was searched for further items where they also found a Hello Kitty pipe. She was arrested and taken to Pima County Jail. The other roommate was transferred to another room for the night to ensure her safety.