Here’s a short list of things that I want for my next birthday party: an airplane marked with the insignia of a dragon, 17 Hooters waitresses serving food to my guests, Caesars Palace made into my own personal bouncy house, a lion to ride around on that roars at people I don’t like, and Tom Cruise in a clown outfit driving a hamster wheel-powered car.
It sounds amusing but it’s nothing compared to the outlandish nature of the whims of soon-to-be 16-year-olds on MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16.”
The show, in short, exemplifies everything wrong with modern parenting and how American adults handle conflict management with their children.
From the opening theme (sung by Hilary Duff, the woman formerly known as Lizzie McGuire who we all thought died several years ago) to the parties themselves, “My Super Sweet 16” exercises an astounding amount of financial irresponsibility and sets a downright awful example for any spoiled brat who happens to be watching.
Hey, parents! Guess what? Your kids aren’t the most important thing on the planet and damn sure don’t need to fly to New York to get the perfect satin dress that they’ll spill Martinelli’s on an hour later.
A simple “no” every now and then shows your love more than an exorbitant celebratory birthday party ever will. If you are incapable of saying no, you’ve got bigger issues than a spoon-fed parasite living under your roof.
Give some kudos to MTV though; despite running this terrible excuse for a television show for years now, it attempted to show a little bit of self-deprecating humor in 2008 when it launched a spinoff called “Exiled,” in which parents featured on “My Super Sweet 16” “banished” kids to third-world countries and condemned them to harsh living conditions.
As you can imagine, it’s high comedy and furthermore illustrates that maybe — just maybe — MTV is aware of its lack of creative talent or willing indulgence of the sect of people who enjoy this trash.
— Joe Dusbabek is a senior studying linguistics and French. He can be reached at arts@wildcat.arizona.edu.
