Valentine’s Day is less than two weeks away, but all the merchandise has been in stores since the beginning of January, when it was time to take down all the faux Christmas trees and turn off “”Jingle Bells.”” Safeway employees have long-since-stocked the candy shelves with pink and red M&M’s bags, and customers can’t miss the cheesy Disney Valentine’s Day cards by the store’s front entrance. The much-anticipated romantic comedy, “”He’s Just Not That Into You,”” hits theaters this Friday, and all the single women who need to take the film title as advice will go out and see the movie, only to forget the moral message and continue agonizing about being single and chasing after undeserving men.
Some people want to boycott Valentine’s Day because it’s a reminder of loneliness, but the date isn’t that special to begin with, even while in a relationship. It’s a filler holiday for people like me who enjoy decorating, watching “”The Notebook,”” and making excuses to consume dangerous amounts of chocolate.
It seems like a lot of people are unhappy about being single, even at a young, college age. I have girlfriends who take their relationship statuses off Facebook.com simply because they cannot handle the fact that they’re without a man, and seeing the word “”single”” is too much to stomach. The only other logical reason to omit a relationship status is to deter creepy guys, and there are way too many of these weirdos lurking around the internet.
There shouldn’t be a stigma against singles because it’s much more humiliating to be in a dead end, unhealthy relationship with a really bad person, and this kind of couple only stays together out of pure security. They may not be extremely happy, but they don’t have to be alone or visibly depressed, so they hold onto dying relationships for a sense of comfort and familiarity. This works until one realizes that life is not about being comfortable and safe all the time, and being uncomfortable (single, presumably) can have more benefits.
What’s so terrifying about being alone? Such views of doom discourage independence and self-understanding, and before anyone can love you, you have to love and understand yourself. Being alone doesn’t scare me at all, but I find it strange that so much of our young lives revolve around relationships, especially when we have so many other things going on. We’re not living in the 1940s, when most people married in their early twenties or late teens, so it’s unnecessary to jump back to older times in discreet ways. Whenever I visit my family at home, the first question out of my sister-in-law’s mouth is always, “”Are you dating anybody?”” And then the conversation is over because school, work, and friends just aren’t sufficiently riveting topics for some people.
Being single doesn’t translate into being weird or unwanted. In many cases, it’s just not worth it to start a relationship, because all the current prospects are unpromising; and you can’t force anything to work out. Otherwise,it isn’t worth much. It’s better to be alone for an extended period of time than latch onto the first decent person that comes around, just for the sake of having arm candy and someone to talk about.
Some may disagree, but it seems much harder to be single at an older age, so college students don’t really have anything to worry about for another thirty years. There aren’t a lot of great social opportunities for older singles, and they are at a disadvantage because most people their age are already married – or, at least, the good ones are.
College students and recent graduates have a better chance of just meeting someone at random while older widows or bachelors have to invest in online dating services, which are usually pretty suspicious and creepy. Someone in this position may have to accept that it’s very possible that they’ll be romantically deprived forever; and as sad as it sounds, there are worse things that can happen. When I asked a 55-year-old divorced student if she wanted to meet someone after splitting with her ex-husband, she said, “”No. I’m absolutely done with that part of my life.””
If you happen to be alone on Valentine’s Day and after, remember that you have other great things going for you. So feel free to eat one of those extra large cookies from Paradise Bakery Café and be thankful that you don’t have to watch your figure for a significant other.
-ÿLaura Donovan is a creative writing junior. She can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
